Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
That was an excessively violent trivia night
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
