How'd it feel making her break her religion?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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