I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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