Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
