HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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