im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
