would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
