a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
