I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
