Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
