Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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