dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
