Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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