I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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