i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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