you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
