dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
