it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
