You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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