I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
