Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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