my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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