I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
