whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
