Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
