What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Randomize
