Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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