Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Randomize
