Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
