So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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