I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
