Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
