Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Randomize
