Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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