He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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