it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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