No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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