"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
