I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
