I swear she didn't look like that last week.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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