I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
