As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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