just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
