she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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