Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
