i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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