Who wears a wallet chain?!
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
