I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
