We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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