So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
